Wakeup Call

Rating: PG-13

Jack had never been much of a cuddler, and frankly, the bed was just not big enough for three full-grown adults. Normally he slept alone, in his bed downstairs where there was no Daniel to sprawl over most of the mattress and no Carter to poke him when he snored. But it'd been a very long day, and very good sex, and somehow he just hadn't been able to summon up the will to haul himself down the stairs.

So Daniel had sprawled, and Carter had poked, and Jack had cursed himself vaguely for not having had the sense to at least get out from between the two of them. His own fault, though; he'd known what to expect.

The conversation over his head seemed like a bit much, though.

"We could wake him up." That was Daniel, testing the possibilities. Jack kept his eyes closed, thinking no, no, that's a bad idea, it's dark out, leave me alone!

"I don't know. He's not usually in the mood first thing." Carter, now, testing the theory. Listen to Carter, Daniel!

"Well, surely that's fixable, though." Daniel's weight shifted a little.

"Don't blame me if he takes your fingers off for grabbing him there without warning," Carter murmured. Daniel's weight shifted again. Jack, thinking some more about this, started to wonder whether he was actually on Carter's side or not.

"Well, okay, so… what? Influence his dreams through dirty talk?"

Carter sniggered; Jack's eyes were still closed, but he could see her grinning anyway, clear as day. "Dirty talk? From who? You?"

"You don't think I could?"

"Okay, fine. Dirty talk. Go for it."

They were getting louder, and Jack nearly gave up and admitted he was awake, except that he kind of wanted to see where this would go. Daniel was good at doing, and okay with romantic so long as you caught him at the right time, but spicy? Not so much.

"Um." The room fell quiet again, the only sounds those of the three of them breathing and one early sparrow waking up outside. Daniel was frowning, and Carter was staring him down, Jack would've bet his life on it. "Um. No, I guess I can't. I just sound kind of stupid to myself. I mean, when you think about it-" another shifting of weight, as Daniel levered himself up onto one elbow, and how could they possibly think he was still asleep?-"the euphemisms alone. 'Oh, baby, spear me with your hard rod,' that kind of thing, it's just… why 'rod'? Yes, it's descriptive, I get that, but it just makes me think of curtain rods, which are kind of skinny…"

Oh, that's it. "My dick is not a curtain rod!" Jack said, levering himself up on both elbows and narrowly missing cracking heads with Daniel where he was leaning over. "I have a thick, manly, muscular dick, thank you."

"And now I'm picturing penis weightlifting exercises," Daniel said without missing a beat. Carter rolled over onto Jack, her face shadowy in the early light coming through the window, and he fell back onto the mattress with her on top. Daniel poked her shoulder. "Hey! Who did all the work of waking him up, anyway?"

"You snooze, you lose," Carter said brightly, and kissed him not at all sleepily as Daniel's hand slid between their bodies.

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