The Law of Unintended Consequences

Rating: PG-13


the avoidance of physical or spiritual work

After they brought Pelops to his knees, the Argosians did what they did best and threw a party. (Most popular question: How close did the falling statue come to you?)

The next morning, when they learned how many more years they could expect to live, they threw another one. (Most popular game: Days-to-years unit conversion. Sam was the star of the show.)

Four days later, they threw a party in honor of their visitors' departure. (Best outfit: Thetyes, for her Stargate-themed headdress.)

Two months after that, Argos' endless harvest came to an end, and its people went quietly to bed.


the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual

"Did you see this?" Dobson's lit up, leaning so far over Reynolds' desk that he wonders whether she's planning to climb over it. He pushes his chair back an inch, trying to be discreet. "I mean, God, weather control? Look, you have got to get them to go back and take some of us with them, because this field staff evaluation thing is bullshit, and you know it. I don't care how bright she is, ten hours of inspection by a theoretical physicist is not going to do the job."

"Well, I will certainly do my best," Reynolds lies earnestly.


an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body

"You'll like it. I promise. You liked the pie, and this is even better than pie! Or, ooh! Two birds, one stone. Mouthful of pie, mouthful of..."

"Stop! Be silent immediately! The entire concept is revolting, and I'm not listening to you."

"But but but - none of them would do anything other than think about it, but you, Togar, there is nothing standing in your way. I mean, yes, maybe a little messy. Particularly with the really very good pie idea. But disgusting?"

"You want me to exchange fluids. With my wife."

"You want to do her brother? I'm flexible."


excessive belief in one's own abilities

Shau'nac presses one hand to her pouch, caressing it absently. "Teal'c and I have known each other since we were children. He knows that I would not mislead him. Or is it you who does not believe me, Bra'tac?"

"I believe that you speak the truth. My concern... the Tau'ri are valuable allies, but they are not Jaffa. They have interests of their own, and you are no warrior. If you are not kept safe, your discovery could be for naught."

"Ah, you think so little of me!" Shau'nac smiles, confident as any goddess. "All will be well. You will see."


forceful, often vindictive anger

When Reese was very young, she wanted to go to school. She'd seen it on vid, and she knew that was appropriate for people her age, but Father said she couldn't because they wouldn't understand how special she was. "I'll bring you friends, Reese," he promised. "Just be patient."

Patience wasn't really one of her strong points.

Reese knows that people her age should be learning that sometimes their parents are right, and she's pleased she's on schedule. This time she's not going to blame herself. Father was right all along, and the humans are getting exactly what they deserve.


an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires

First hated hunger. It was an artifact, of course; Reese had been built to mimic her human creator, and several of the irritating weaknesses he'd shared with her had been passed on in turn to her progeny. Their pure desire for more was translated into a messy, organic sensation, which First had found more distracting with every passing moment.

Eventually, though, he had come to terms with the way his piece fit into a superior whole. He could overcome the others' patience, lend them passion. In return, they provided... capacity.

Humans could be satiated. First knew he never would be.


the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation

"You know that none of this crap really matters, right?"

"Yeah, well, it matters to me." Andrew yanked at his bag of pretzels again, then shouted "FUCK!" as it ripped down the middle and flung pretzels in all directions. He slumped, now-empty bag dangling between his knees. "Fuck. Look. I need her, Jack. Okay, maybe on the grand scale of things it doesn't matter like, I don't know, terrorism or whatever. But all that big shit, that's got nothing to do with my actual life. Brittany does."

"Yeah." Jack leaned back against the bleachers, closing his eyes. "Yeah. Must be nice."

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