Invasive Species

Rating: G

"No," Daniel said, "it's not that." To the uneducated ear, he would have sounded calm, patient, controlled. Jack was giving him five minutes before he completely lost it. "They're beautiful birds. Really. It's just that you didn't tell us—"

Jack saw the movement out of the corner of his eye just in time to duck. The pigeony one—oh, the hell with it, he was calling it a pigeon even if it was from another planet—flapped right on by him and landed on their guest's head with a self-satisfied coo, flashing a green crest.

Daniel didn't blink twice. Once, yes. "What was I saying? Oh. When you said you needed the basket for ritual purposes we didn't really understand that you had something alive in there, and we have, um, rules. About bringing… pets. Through the Stargate." Actually, they didn't have specific rules about pets so much, though Jack was sure that Doc Fraiser would argue strongly for one after this. Thank God the infirmary door had been closed before the birds got free. Jack supposed he ought to be helping, but hey, Daniel had it well in hand. Besides, the more tense he got at work the more relief he'd need by the time he got to bed that night, and inappropriate birds were a much better way to achieve tension than translations (boring, and Daniel always ended up trying to explain them on the way to bed) or bad outcomes (no fun for anyone).

Thiasse reached up and adjusted her bird like a hat, letting it nibble at her fingertips. Jack had to admit he kind of liked her. She was quite possibly nuts, but she had style. "You can't possibly have expected me to travel without my gods."

"Your… gods. You believe that these two birds are gods?" Daniel, patience obviously waning, glanced over to where the let's-call-it-a-budgie was perched on an IV stand.

"Avatars, yes." Thiasse smiled brilliantly. "The birds are the conduit whereby the gods of my house enter the world. I cannot possibly engage in a delicate negotiation without including them."

"Right. Right." Daniel nodded, eyes closed. The budgie took this as a cue to land on his back, clinging to his collar.

"They like sunflower seeds best," Thiasse said, as if revealing a secret.

"Right. I, um. I'm just going to go… talk to General Hammond. Maybe you could ask your god to, um…" Daniel leaned forward a little. Jack wondered whether he'd noticed the streak of birdshit down his back yet, and smirked.

"Poostie!" Thiasse said. "Poostie, sweetie! Come to Mommy. The nice man is going to get you some sacrificial seeds."

"Yes, Daniel, why don't you do that?" Jack said cheerily.

Daniel smiled, but somehow Jack didn't think he meant it.

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