Rating: G

Teal'c had already set out bread and cheese and honey when Sam arrived, Daniel in tow. Daniel had brought bite-sized pastries from Essencia, colorful fruit tarts and cheesecakes and cream puffs--or rather, he'd gotten Sam to stop there on the way to Teal'c's new place, since his car was a standard and driving with one arm was problematic. He arranged them on one of Teal'c's businesslike new plates (plain green, no markings) while Sam pre-heated the oven for the frozen lasagna she'd bought on the way into work that morning. After briefly considering the much-more-convenient sample refrigerator, she'd gotten ahold of herself and put it in the public fridge instead, with a very large note on top. She'd checked three times to make sure no one had taken it. Daniel had caught her the third time, but nodded sagely when she'd said "you remember the thing with the Diet Coke."

Everything in the apartment was brand new, other than the few personal items Teal'c had brought from the SGC and arranged along the counter that separated the kitchen and the living room. One refrigerator, mostly empty. One dishwasher, likewise, and that was weird, thinking of Teal'c using a dishwasher. Not that he hadn't helped clean up after any number of dinners, birthday parties, wakes--well, just the one wake, really--but this was his dishwasher, for which he'd presumably gone out to the grocery store and bought soap. It was just all so... no, not human, since she was very aware of just what a small minority of humans actually owned dishwashers. American. It was just all so... American. He'd even given that silly cowboy hat pride of place on one of the coathooks by the front door.

The General arrived forty-five minutes late, muttering about conference calls and road construction. He'd stopped somewhere for beer and chips and salsa, which got a polite (if uninterested) thank you from Teal'c and a snarky little "you know I can't drink that with the painkillers, Jack," from Daniel. The General flinched a little; Sam waited until he'd gone looking for a bowl for the chips before glaring at Daniel, who shrugged back at her, unrepentant.

He'd assured her once that he'd been at least a little intimidated by General O'Neill when they first met. Sam had tried to imagine Daniel being intimidated by anyone, and failed utterly.

They were all still worn out from the lockdown, so it was a quiet evening, but in a comfortable kind of way. Sam and Teal'c spent nearly an hour trying to get his television and cable box and DVD player to talk to each other, and celebrated their success by splitting the last cream puff. The General cajoled them into a few hands of bridge, a game that he'd been trying to convince them was fun for more than seven years now. Sam was pretty sure he was only keeping up the campaign because when he did manage to get them to play he almost always won, since Jonas was the only teammate he'd ever had at the SGC who'd ever liked it enough to ask to play. Once that petered out, General O'Neill attacked one of the Pier One boxes in the bedroom, somehow convincing Sam that it was a good idea for the two of them to put together a set of bookshelves for Teal'c despite the beer. (Actually, she rather suspected that she'd only agreed because of the beer, and because there wasn't much she could refuse the General once he was a little soused and a lot relaxed and cheerful.) "Go away!" he very nearly shouted when Teal'c made a move to help. "We're the housewarmers. You're the Housewarmee. Don't help us. Go clean up in the kitchen or something. Daniel, read the directions, would you?"

The assembly job went just about as well as Sam had expected. In his defense, the General did promise to pay for Teal'c's new shelves in the end.


(Special just-for-Barkley addendum: And then Jack and Teal'c did sex! But not until after Sam and Daniel had left, because that just would've been rude. I mean, seriously.)

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