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Two Things Sam Regrets About Getting Involved in a Threesome with Jack and Daniel Rating: PG-13 From a prompt on The Pentangular Gate. The Baby Sam loves the baby, loves her wholly and fiercely in a way that she finds a little frightening. It reminds her of Jonas, the way she was never able to stop loving him, even on that last day with the killer sun beating down on them both. She stopped liking him long before she gave the ring back, but even at the end, the love-- She hopes that she'll come to like the baby eventually. Until then, the hormonal response will have to do. Daniel likes the baby, she thinks, in a distracted sort of way, though he'll surely be happier once she's old enough to discuss Ancient Sumeria. He takes his responsibilities seriously, at least; does his half of the housework, feeds her and changes her and walks around and around and around the house at night when she's sleepless again, singing to her as quietly as he can. So yes, she thinks Daniel likes the baby, though it isn't exactly the sort of thing one can ask for clarification on. Jack-- Nearly five years she and Daniel spent at Area 51, clinging to the remnants of the program, smiling and nodding when they were told that yet another new project or unknown text came out of the backlog of the SGC. Where the Stargate was they didn't know, though they were sure it wasn't as buried as it was supposed to be. They never tried to find out. Curiosity could have cost them Area 51, and once they lost that, they lost Jack to the ice. Sam wonders, sometimes, whether it would have been better to leave with Teal'c, work the problem from out there. They could have gotten back somehow, she thinks, and they did consider it, but in the end it felt like the wrong choice. So she and Daniel moved to Nevada, worked for an administration they despised during the day and for Jack at night and went out drinking once in a while to toast the hope of a decent return on the investment of two souls. They lived together from the start, to make the work easier, and when the fucking started it seemed perfectly natural. It was perfectly natural, a good way to blow off steam now that the boundaries they'd respected as teammates were gone, and they did care about each other, after all. It hurt when Daniel told her about him and Jack--how could it not sting a little, that Jack had chosen Daniel, and not her?--but Jack had been under the ice for going on two years by then, and it was a wistful little hurt more than anything. Their efforts hadn't slowed, but Sam had begun to think of Jack as a was rather than an is, and being jealous of a was... well, it was foolish, and she hated to be foolish. Four years to the day after she lost the Stargate, Sam told Daniel she was stopping birth control, and he could do what he wanted to about that. It seemed like the thing to do; her last chance, a future for one of the eggs she'd carried with her since before she was born, a will be brought into a life overfilled with was. Three months later, she was pregnant, and Daniel was talking his way onto yet another project having to do with the Ancients. Before she'd reached her second trimester, they had their answer. It went that quickly, once they had the right information. "There's an instruction manual out there somewhere," Daniel had said, back in the very beginning, and while it hadn't been quite as simple as they'd hoped--there was more than a magical defrost button involved--it had been an easy enough process to figure out. Actually getting access to Jack was the tough part. It took every friend he'd ever had, a few of his enemies, two threatened resignations, and some extremely well-spun descriptions of potential uses for the technology in question, but they managed it in the end. Daniel was in Antarctica when Sam gave birth. When he came home, he brought Jack with him. "Ta nome?" Jack had said, sitting next to her on the couch. And Daniel had told her, of course, but she still froze, heart sinking into her stomach, as Daniel touched him on the knee and said clearly, "English, Jack." "Yeah. Sorry," Jack said, and he sounded so tired, so worn, that she wished she had enough strength in her to really care. "What's, ah..." He frowned. "Her name. What's her name." Daniel had told him that already, Sam knew. They'd agreed on the name months ago. But she found a smile for Jack somewhere, and told him, "Claire. Claire Nancy, for our mothers," not flinching a bit as she sat there with the shell of a man she loved beside her and two dead women in her arms. There are bad days, when English is difficult for Jack and his mind seems more full of holes than anything else, but there are good days too. On those days he's wholly himself, the only person in her life who can always put a real smile on her face, and she does not mind that she shares him with Daniel. She's mostly too tired for sex anyway, and the one time they were all together, Daniel had lain beside her in the bed, murmuring Ancient meant for Jack into her ear as Jack fucked her, until Jack came gasping a language she didn't want to understand into the side of her neck. She and Daniel fought about that later, quietly, so as not to wake Jack. It doesn't matter to Daniel which language Jack speaks, of course, but she hates it when Daniel encourages him to use anything but English. Jack speaks Ancient to the baby, sometimes. Mostly he avoids her, which is a neat trick given the size of the house, but he pulls it off. He liked children once, Sam's sure she remembers that, but maybe having one living in the same house is just a little bit too close to the bone. She hasn't asked, and Jack hasn't volunteered. It could have been the three of them, Sam thinks--either three, any three, pivoting on a was or on a will be. It's four that doesn't quite seem to work, and she loves them, she does, down deep in her gut with all of the other parts of herself that she doesn't understand, but sometimes she wishes--she wishes--it changes from day to day, the wishes she makes, and none of them are things she can say out loud. So she waits. Someday, she thinks, things might change, and she wants to be ready. *** The Sex Sam liked sex. She liked it a lot. Plus, she was good at it; she's a geek, but she'd never been clumsy or out of touch with her body, not that she could remember. Dating, relationships, intimacy, love, those things were hard, but sex? Sex was easy. Or it was, until she started to have it with two other people instead of just one. One-on-one was great. Two-on-one, also great. One-on-one with added voyeurism, actually a lot hotter than Sam would have anticipated. Everyone feeling like they were having sex with everyone else at the same time, in an active, participatory way? Not so much. "Participatory" was Daniel's word. Upon hearing it, Jack threw a sock at him. "Maybe it just isn't a realistic goal," Daniel continued, as if he hadn't just had to pull a sock out of his mouth. "I mean, we aren't obligated to have any particular sort of sex life if it's not working for us, right?" Sam could feel herself bristling, like she always did when it was suggested that she wasn't up to a challenge. Before she could say anything, though, Jack said, "Like I've been telling you, porn is the answer. I thought you people liked research." "Just because something looks erotic on-screen doesn't mean it would actually be fun, Jack," Daniel replied. The full-on lecture tone was somewhat undercut by his extreme nakedness, not to mention the way he was lying crosswise on the bed with his feet hanging over the edge. He'd managed to stay on when Jack and Sam had both gone over the side, damn him, and while Sam liked to think of herself as the kind of person who recovered from setbacks quickly, it turned out falling out of bed with a six-foot-tall man on top of you broke the mood a little bit. Daniel had actually had the temerity to point out afterwards that he still had an erection, which Sam had told him was his problem, thanks. "We'll make it work," Sam said, through gritted teeth. "Even if it kills us, huh?" Jack said, rolling over to kiss her shoulder. "It won't," Sam said, frustrated. "I can do this." They never were able to talk her into giving up. |
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